Adjusting
by harry horror
Summary: After convincing Yami to stay after the final duel, Yugi must deal with the mix of growing feelings towards him and the anxiety still lingering from what could have been their final moments together.


**A/N:** I absolutely hated the end of Yu-Gi-Oh (full rant in the concluding author's note). This universe is canon(ish) up until the conclusion of the final duel in episode 224. This is a one-shot for now though I may write a follow-up one-shot.

* * *

 **Adjusting**

* * *

Yugi woke to the cold press of a palm against his forehead. He squinted in the overhead light, relaxing back against the sofa as he met Yami's eyes. They were in the living room of the shop apartment, windows dark with the fading wisps of sunset, the heat of the vents ruffling the curtains in a soft breeze.

"Are you feeling alright?" Yami said. He was dressed in jeans and a sweater, jacket still buttoned up as he squatted down beside him. He'd stepped out for a walk after dinner, leaving him to study as grandpa took over watching the shop.

It had been two weeks since they'd dueled at the shrine of the Millennium Stone, but he still wasn't used to seeing the pharaoh in flesh and blood, almost as if he blinked, he would disappear, swallowed by the light of the Eye of Wdjat, never to be seen again.

"I'm alright," Yugi said. "I just fell asleep."

He pushed himself up, Yami's hand dropping back to his side. His school papers were still spread out on the coffee table, textbook draped over the back of the couch. Last he remembered, he'd been in the middle of a chapter on derivatives, though trying to catch up on the two weeks' worth of missed work while they'd been in Egypt had been proving harder than expected.

"It's unlike you to fall asleep this early," Yami said.

Yugi swung his legs over the couch as Yami rose, taking a seat beside him. "I just haven't been sleeping well." Yami's hand slid over his knee, and he turned to look at him, squashing the butterflies that rose in his stomach at the contact. It had been two weeks since Yami had gotten his own body, and he was still getting the flutters every time he was in the same room with him.

From the beginning, their relationship had always been platonic - a deep friendship made deeper by so many shared experiences - but ever since he'd crossed into the physical universe, everything had started shifting. Yami was no longer the lost spirit sharing his body. He was a person, a living, breathing human, whose eyes found his across the room no matter where they were and whose knee would brush his under the table at every meal, making him feel things that friends did not or should not feel for one another.

"The nightmares still?" Yami said.

"Just sometimes," Yugi said. He dropped his eyes, thankful, not for the first time, that he and Yami no longer shared every intimate thought. The mental bond tying them together had vanished the moment that the he'd removed the Millennium Puzzle from his neck in the Temple of the Realm of the Dead.

"Aibou," Yami said. Yugi turned to look at him, trying his hardest to ignore the soft, rhythmic brush of his thumb against his knee. "Though are thoughts are no longer linked, I remain fully capable of knowing when you are being deceitful."

Yugi sighed. "I've been having the nightmares all week." There was a long beat of silence, the skin between Yami's eyes wrinkling as he continued to watch him. "It's nothing to be worried about – really." What it was, was embarrassing. Everyone else had moved on from the duel at the temple, but for some reason, he couldn't.

The nightmares came in chunks of memories – the rapid-fire of his heart as he removed the Millennium Puzzle from his neck for the last time, the concrete block of dread in his stomach as the pharaoh's life points hit zero, Yami's frame silhouetted in the light of Eye of Wdjat. It all came back to him the moment he began to drift, shocking him back into consciousness.

"Ishizu forewarned us that a degree of trauma would be expected upon the loss of our mental connection," Yami said. "We shared a body for many years. It is not unreasonable to have difficulty adjusting to the lack of mental feedback."

"I know," Yugi said. He bit his lip, watching the path of Yami's thumb over his knee. "I just still forget sometimes that you're not with me all the time anymore."

"Yugi," Yami said. His thumb stilled, and Yugi glanced up at him. "Even though our thoughts are no longer one, I am always with you."

Their eyes locked together, and his stomach clenched as the Yami's hand shifted a few inches higher, palm warm against his thigh.

From the moment they'd left the temple, Yami seemed to always have him in reaching distance. The touches were always casual – his hand over his knee, a guiding hand on his back, fingers brushing his as he handed him a cup of tea, and he welcomed the physical contact. It was a small reprieve from the echoing emptiness of the loss of their mental connection.

Yami's fingers tightened around his leg, and his chest tightened as Yami leaned forward. The physical contact had been one thing, but they'd never been this close, inches between them as Yami's eyes found his, leaning closer. It was slow, conscious movement, giving him every opportunity to pull away, and for a moment, Yugi's hands shook in his lap, his heart pounding as Yami pressed his lips against his.

Yami's lips were warm, the pressure light as he cupped his chin, tilting his head up as the grip on his leg loosened. Yugi closed his eyes, tension easing from his shoulders as he relaxed. He reached out, fingers brushing the fabric of Yami's jeans, reminding himself that it wasn't a dream – Yami was real, no longer a spirit bound to the magic of the Millennium Puzzle.

The kiss couldn't have lasted longer than a few seconds, but as they drew apart it felt like an eternity had passed, the universe shifting to accommodate the ripple.

Yami's lips curled, a small smile on his face as he met his eyes, fingers reaching out to brush his bangs from his forehead. His eyes were centered on him, the attention honed to the same devoted focus he paid during a duel – the same focus he'd leveled on him when he'd stood in the light of the eye, listening to his plea not to go.

Yugi's heart sank at the memory. Fear – all-consuming panic – unfurled beneath his ribs, and anxiety burned through his veins as his heart began to race. "I need– " He stood, unable to finish the sentence, to think, breathe. He took a step back, willing his lungs to fill.

Yami stood, reaching out for him, confused. "Yugi – "

Yugi's skin was burning as he turned on his heel, feet moving on their own as he reached the front door, yanking it open, stomping on his shoes, and stepping out into the hall. He pounded down the steps before bursting outside.

He sucked down a breath and then another. The air was crisp with the bite of late fall, the sky dark as dusk transformed to evening. He moved down the sidewalk, walking the opposite direction of the shop, gulping down air. The street was full of cars lined up in evening rush hour, but foot traffic was light as he headed down the block. His heart was still pounding in his chest as he reached the end of the street.

A bus stop sat a few feet away, and he stepped into the shelter, taking a seat on the empty bench as he leaned over, pressing his forehead to his knees. It took a few minutes for his pulse to ease, the heat of his skin dissipating as the cold began to settle in on the exposed skin of his arms and face. He crossed his arms over his chest, missing, not for the first time, the reassuring weight of the Millennium Puzzle against his ribs.

He let out a long breath. His entire body sagged against the bench from the outburst, thoughts jolting in and out of his head as he tried to collect himself. It felt like he'd run for miles, pulse still beating a wild rhythm as he kept breathing, trying to calm down, dread a silent drip in his lungs.

It didn't take long for Yami to find him.

The pharaoh slipped into the shelter, taking a seat at his side. He was silent as he unbuttoned his coat, shrugging it off before draping it around his shoulders. The fabric was still warm, carrying with it the faint smell of their shampoo.

Yugi stared at the ground. His heart had started pounding again, throat closing up, as Yami leaned back against the bench.

"Your nightmares," Yami said. His voice was steady, confident – the same reassuring presence that had once filled his mind each and every day. "They are not just of the duel, are they?" When Yugi remained quiet, he continued. "They are of our conversation after its conclusion."

Yugi took a long breath. "I dream that you decide to leave – that I beg you to stay and you go anyway." His gaze remained rooted to the concrete as he listened to the long exhale of Yami's breath.

"You should not have kept this from me," Yami said.

"I didn't know what to say," Yugi said.

"I will not attempt to deceive you, aibou," Yami said. "When we entered the temple, my intention was to cross over into the afterlife. I intended to put my soul to rest and permit you the chance to live the life that I kept from you for so many years, but when the time came, I hesitated."

"You won our duel," Yami continued, "and we agreed that your victory would mean my passing into the afterlife – that is what we had worked to achieve. You sacrificed years of your life to see me to that moment, and when the time came, I allowed my own selfishness to squander the opportunity."

"I never wanted you to go," Yugi said. He shook his head. "I didn't invite you into my life, but I never asked you to leave either."

"It would have been for the best," Yami said.

"I never thought that," Yugi said, sitting up. Anger flooded him, rippling down his spine as straightened. "The only reason I went along with the duel was because I thought that's what you really, truly wanted, but the more I think about it, I think the only reason you went through with it was because you thought I would be better off with you."

Yami looked at him, frowning.

"Every night when I try to fall asleep, I wonder if I hadn't asked you to stay if you would have left," Yugi said. "So then I try to imagine this world where you're not there, and – I can't. For the past two weeks, all I've been able to think about was how awful everything would be if I'd let you walk through that door."

"Every time I see you or hear you, I think that you could be dead right now, and I would be alone with all of this," he continued. "Everyone would mourn you, but no one would understand what it would be like to lose you entirely, our bond, our friendship, everything, and then when you kissed me – " He stopped, cheeks heating as he dropped his eyes. "It just all hit me at once."

He listened to the soft exhale of Yami's breath. "I never intended to cause you this pain," Yami said. "When you completed the puzzle, I intended to keep my distance from you, your life, your friends, but the longer we spent together, the more entangled I became."

"But you still wanted to die anyway," Yugi said.

"I wanted to give you a chance to live," Yami said.

"And you think I can't do that with you?" Yugi said, looking up.

"No," Yami said, "because I knew that if I stayed, I would never be able to let you go." He shifted, turning to face him. "You are not yet eighteen, Yugi. I did not wish to condemn you to this fate – to be tied to one person, to me, for the rest of your time on this earth."

"You should have talked to me," Yugi said. "If you would have just talked to me before the duel then I could have told you that if you had gone through with it, if you would have left, it would have killed me too." He looked out onto the street, the burn of tears stinging in his eyes.

They sat in silence for a moment, tears dripping down his face the longer that they sat. He hadn't cried in months, not since before they'd entered the memory world of ancient Egypt, and the emotions of the past few weeks were stacked high inside of him, grenades of fear, anger, and sadness just waiting to implode. He took a shaky breath, the tears coming harder as Yami's hand caught his chin, turning him to face him.

"I am truly sorry," Yami said. His eyes held his, and though he could no longer read his mind, Yugi could sense the gravity of his guilt.

Yugi's shoulders shook as Yami's arms closed around him, pulling him into his chest, as the tears turned to sobs. He choked down a breath as he gripped Yami's sweater, the fabric dampening as he continued to cry, emotions washing over him in waves that knocked him back as he struggled to resurface.

He wasn't sure how long they sat there, but by the time his tears had begun to slow, Yami had tucked his head under his chin, arms tight around him as the trembles began to settle. Loosening his arms, Yami looked down at him, brushing away the remaining tears before leaning forward, pressing another soft kiss against his lips.

"You are exhausted," Yami said. He leaned back a few inches, eyes searching his.

Yugi nodded. His eyes were sore, chest aching, yet his stomach was swirling with butterflies from the brief contact of Yami's lips against his. The anxiety that had been ratcheting tighter every day for the past few weeks had loosened, wiped clean by the tidal wave of the last hour but expending every bit of energy he'd had left.

"Shall we return home?" Yami said.

Yugi nodded. He rubbed his eyes, lumbering to his feet as Yami reached for his hand, entwining their fingers, and Yugi took a second to consider their interlocked hands, warmth spreading up his arm and into his chest.

By the time they got back to the apartment, night had fallen over the city. It was past seven, and his grandfather would be downstairs in the shop for another hour or so, but after almost conking out in the shower, Yugi headed for bed.

His already cramped bedroom had reached claustrophobic levels since they'd bought another futon for Yami, squeezing it a few feet from his own bed until they could find their own apartment somewhere close by. Yami was sitting at the desk, watching him over his book, as he crossed the room, face planting into his bed.

"You will sleep now?" Yami said.

Yugi turned his head, eyelids heavy as met Yami's eyes. "Yeah, I can barely keep my eyes open." He shimmied under the sheets, listening to the creek of the floorboards as Yami crossed the room, shutting off the light, the click of the door soft as he closed it behind him.

Yugi curled forward, bunching the blankets in his hands as he closed his eyes. He sucked down a breath as the mattress dipped, eyes shooting open as he turned, finding Yami's frame silhouetted in the darkness.

"You scared me," Yugi said. "I thought you left." He shifted over as Yami moved to lay down beside him, their arms touching as they both stared up at the ceiling.

"Your nightmares are fueled by a fear that I will be gone come morning," Yami said, propping himself up on his elbow. "If I am here with you, perhaps it help alleviate the fear fueling these dreams."

Yugi rolled over onto his side as Yami pushed up on his shoulder, shifting closer until he was spooned around him, arm draped over his side. Cheeks warming, Yugi closed his eyes, the weight of Yami's arm and the heat of his body a silent reminder that the boy behind him was no longer a spirit but a living, breathing human. He shifted, finding a comfortable spot as his limbs grew heavy against the mattress.

It felt right having Yami cocooned around him, and for the first time since he'd removed the Millennium Puzzle from his neck, the emptiness in his mind did not echo with the total loss of Yami's presence. The edges of consciousness grew fuzzier as Yami tightened his arm around him, a reassuring comfort as his mind began to drift, ready to face whatever lay on the other side.

* * *

 **A/N:** As I said, I freaking hated the end of Yu-Gi-Oh. I remember being so upset by Yami leaving/dying in the end because I thought it was bullshit! In like five seconds after the duel, he just up and leaves and barely says two words of goodbye to Yugi. I mean, I get that everything in the plot was leading up to Yami's soul being at peace, but how in the world is Yugi supposed to move on with his life after the guy he's been sharing a body with, one of his closest friends, for multiple years just disappears forever? Ugh! To make it worse, no one even seems upset in those very last scenes of the anime or panels of the manga after Yami leaves.

For me, if you're going to kill off a character, you at least owe the reader some closure. The way it ended, with everyone excited for a new beginning just minutes after a major character death, was just awful for me!

Rant over.


End file.
